No one tells you that in the run-up to your wedding, you'll have nightmares. It's something the magazines and websites merrily omit as they flog you increasingly expensive trinkets and tchotchkes, and try to convince you that without this season's on-trend pudding room, your wedding will be a thoroughly damp squib,
I didn't expect it at all.
I was relatively (it's all relative...) laid back about the planning process, if dictatorially organised (no, the two aren't mutually exclusive). I thoroughly enjoyed planning our wedding. Given the nature of my current and previous jobs, a big event with lots of moving parts isn't out of the ordinary - and I didn't even have the pressure of Sky's live news feed at this one (the Sky journo was off the clock for the day).
But my outward lack of stress about the process only seemed to exist in my conscious mind - and no one had told my subconscious.
Because for months - in fact, since we started planning last May - I had increasingly intense, increasingly negative dreams about the whole thing.
The started pretty infrequently, maybe once every few weeks, and were relatively innocuous: bridesmaids not wearing the right dresses, the flowers being wrong.
But with less than a month to go, they became constant, night after night, throughout the night. My dad wasn't there to walk me up the aisle, natural disasters, The Writer deciding he couldn't go through with it...
One night, I woke up at 4.45am having scared myself awake after a series of particularly tricksy dreams and listened to my heart try to thump its way out of my body.
And it wasn't just me who was unable to control their subconscious: it became something of a ritual that TW and I got up in the morning and shared the previous night's terrors. Our own form of PTSD therapy, where PTSD happened to be Pre Tyingtheknot Sleep Disorder.
I'm half tempted to pitch a piece about it to You and Your Wedding. It's only fair that other people know to expect it amongst the table plans and dress fittings. Shame I didn't start a draft earlier: I could have made use of those sleepless nights...
It just shouldn't...
4 hours ago